Chapter 1
I heard a voice call my name. It sounded like my wife. She wasn't in a panic but she clearly called out to me. But my mind was distracted from her voice for some reason. A calm came over me. I was still asleep but it the most peaceful, deep, relaxing, calming sleep I'd ever experienced. My mind bounced back to my wife wondering if it really was her and if it was, why I wasn't worried. At other times, if she called me out of a deep sleep, there would be something to worry about - a sick child, a fire or a raging thunderstorm. But this time was different and as perplexed as I was about it, I also was drifting off to another realm. I started to wonder if I was in surgery and under the effects of the anesthesia as my mind drifted from the reality of her voice to the call of the path I was on.

For some reason, I felt no worry, I felt no pain rather I had this strong sense of adventure. I wasn't sure what was happening but it was captivating. It was a ride of sorts and the anticipation of the next step was compelling. A short while later, I awoke. I wasn't at home and thankfully wasn't in a hospital room either. I was totally rested and relaxed and found myself in a very nice cabin. The bedroom was simple with wood walls, ceiling and floors. The bed was the most comfortable bed I'd ever slept in. I stretched and sat up on the edge of the bed and looked outside. It was the prettiest day I'd ever experienced. The sky was crystal blue like on a cold fall morning when the sky is dominated by high pressure but the blues were the strongest I'd ever seen. The air was mixed with brilliant white clouds that looked like whisks of an artist's brush. My eyes shifted their focus out onto the landscape surrounding this cabin. The grounds were immaculate but also very simple, very modest.

The cabin was on a hill surrounded by a pecan grove. The trees were huge and spread out like mighty warriors guarding the cabin. In the area immediately surrounding the cabin was a lush garden fenced in with a picket fence that ran about 100 yards from the cabin. My mind raced to measure the size of the garden and I figured it to be 200 feet long by 200 feet wide with the cabin as it's centerpiece atop this lush hill of over sized pecan trees. Out my window was an alley of crepe myrtle trees that ran from the side porch out to the gate of the picket fence. These trees were 30-40 feet tall and had bright pink and white blooms dancing against the bright blue sky. To the right of the alley was a perfect English garden ringed by boxwood's and centered with a perfect green lawn. Four full shade trees defined the garden and benches underneath provided spots to enjoy the garden under the cool of the shade. Overflowing flower beds lined gravel paths that chris-crossed the garden. The garden called out to me as a place to come and rest in its beauty.

To the left of the crepe myrtle walkway lay a huge vegetable garden full of ripe tomatoes, corn, melons, cucumbers, okra and squash. Huge blueberry trees lined the back wall of the vegetable garden and I could tell whoever tended this garden reaped great rewards from all their hard work. It was obvious whoever owned this cabin had created a very special place and by this point, I hadn't even left the bedroom.

I ventured out into the main room and like the bedroom, it was simple and rustic. The cabin had a two story main room with a large stack stoned fire place on one wall. Comfortable leather chairs and sofa formed a seating area around the fireplace. To the right was a simple kitchen and to the left, a seating area with a large window overlooking the English garden. Like the bedroom, the walls, ceiling and floor were made of old heart pine. The tables and lamps were simple but extremely well made. Large bucks hung on the walls. In one corner there was a gun cabinet with some pristine, antique rifles and in the other corner were some hand made fly fishing rods. The cabin had a warm worn feel to it. It was a very simple, very modest, very welcoming home. I was stuck by how such a simple place could feel so complete. Everything I would need for life was inside this cabin and it made me consider some of the choices I had made back home.

I found some fresh bread in the kitchen and I sliced a peach and some strawberries to eat with my bread. There was a box that was like a refrigerator but more simple. It wasn't cold per se when you opened it but it was cooler than the outside air. It didn't have a light or make noise and I wondered how it worked but quickly shifted my thinking to the fresh squeezed orange juice and plate of cheese I found. I drank a big glass of orange juice and ate a slice of cheese. Like the cabin, the food was simple, healthy and complete. The food satisfied me fully without making me feel full. I went back into the bedroom and found a simple bathroom off to the side. There was a pump over the sink and I pushed down on it a few times and the sink bowl filled up with cool well water. I washed my face and ran the crystal clear water over my head. The water felt so good and so refreshing, I pumped the handle some more and filled up a glass and drank it quickly. The water was the best tasting water I'd ever had. I went back into the room and found some clothes in a pine chest of drawers. They fit me perfectly - tan work pants and a simple shirt. I found some sandals in the corner that were leather and worn and extremely comfortable. I was called to head out and explore the rest of the grounds when I heard a loud voice.

more to come.....

Soar!

Alone with God
Last week, we decided to sit on the far side wall of the church facing the side of the audience. During the praise songs, we were singing this song...

You are holy
You are mighty
You are worthy
Worthy of praise
I will follow
I will love you
All of my days...

As we sang this sound, I looked out over the audience and watched people worship God. It was powerful and I had a revelation. God spoke to me watching these people worship. Many had both of their hands stretched up like a baby wanting to be picked up by their Daddy. Others had their eyes closed as they sang. A few smiled brightly with their eyes closed. A few others were crying.

I focused on a friend on the front row. Her husband was beside her, her young son and daughter on the other side. I know this girl very well - we grew up together. She and her husband have a totally souled out relationship with God. They are not "pretty" people. They don't play society's games. They are intently focused on their walk with God.

But in this moment, I focused on Nancy. A wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend to many, in that 3-4 minutes, she was totally alone with God. Eyes closed, arms stretched upward and focused on every word she sang to the Lord....

You are holy
You are mighty
You are worthy
Worthy of praise
I will follow
I will love you
All of my days...

Nothing else mattered in that moment for Nancy. She and God were millions of miles away from her earthly responsibilities. She wasn't a Mama, she wasn't a wife - she was totally alone with her Father. And there, in that moment, I was stuck with a word from God - my walk with God is ALL that matters. Compared to God, my wife and daughters don't "matter". To say they also matter greatly diminishes the enormity of God. One day all will be stripped away. My job won't matter. Taxes won't matter. Investments won't matter. Houses will be torn down. Our spouses and kids won't have the role they have on this earth. In that final and eternal moment, it will be me and God. It will all be about God and my walk with Him. It is God and God alone.

Now, I am not saying literally that nothing on this earth matters - that I should just focus on God and no one else. God gave me a wife and kids and a job and areas of service and He expects me to provide and care for those entrusted to my care.

But that worship experience drove home the real point - that ultimately and in the final analysis...what matters is God in the sense that to compare him to my wife or my daughters or my career is to just so greatly diminish who God is. He is worthy of no comparison.

And yet, I have find myself compartmentalizing God. I pull Him off the shelf for a short while and quickly put Him back away when I am done needing him. What God showed me was He craves full-time relationship with me. God doesn't want a part-time relationship with us. He desires constant, loving fathering of His children. Constant communication, constant asking "What about this Lord?", constant seeking... "Who is it You want me to reach out to?", constant studying "Lord, what does Your Word want to show me today?" and constant thanksgiving for the marvel of His grace and love.

I was liberated (here again, the Great Liberator has yet again opened another jail cell and set a part of me free...) last Sunday. God showed me. I get it!

Soar!

Social observations...
Just a few social observations. Be aware of what goes on around you. This age we live in is very dangerous.

Oakland California is opening to debate a measure to legalize marijuana because the city is broke and needs the tax revenues. California is an interesting observation in and of itself. It is a pretty liberal place and always has been on the cutting edge of evolutionary thinking. It is an incredibly rich state - Stanford University, Silicon Valley, Google, Cisco Systems, Intel, vast lush farm fields, huge offshore oil reserves and yet the state is also teetering on bankruptcy. Miles of farmland is restricted from farming to protect a small animal that isn't even on the endangered species list - it seems the environmentalists crave the protection of this small animal over the jobs and tax revenues the farms would produce. They have huge oil reserves but the environmentalists won't touch it. And yet the state is going broke. Vast social programs to help the less fortunate have outstripped the vast revenues from the huge industries operating there. And now, they toy with legalizing pot to help balance the budget. What of the unintended consequences of this action? What of the oppressed that the very liberal seemed focused on protecting who already struggle with poverty and drug addiction? What will come for this group if pot is legalized? How easy will it be for the unemployed to get a job if their boss knows they can smoke pot on their break? What will happen to crime rates? It is shaky ground they sit on...quite literally.

Here is another observation -- The Rev. Katherine Ragsdale has been elected the President of Episcopal Divinity School - a major seminary near Harvard founded in 1974 after the merger of two divinity schools founded in the 1850's. She is an openly gay woman and has decided to take an aggressive stance on abortion. For her (and her teachings and the students coming through her Divinity school), it is not enough to be pro-choice but rather to be fanatically pro-abortion. She says abortion is a "blessing". (A blessing!) She goes on to say, "When a woman becomes pregnant within a loving and supportive relationship she has every option open to her. If she decides not to bear a child and has access to a safe abortion - there is not a tragedy in sight - only blessing. (a blessing!) The ability to enjoy God's good gift of sexuality without compromising one's education, life's work, or ability to put to use God's gifts and call is simply a blessing."

She goes to say that the workers who make abortions possible should be thanked --- now get this -- because they "are doing holy work."

In 2003, she said the Resurrection may never have happened. That the suffering and death of Jesus is "an interesting theory, but not one I find compelling."

This woman is running a school of Divinity. She is responsible for the education of future Episcopalian's who seek to enter to field of ministry.

So not only is our nation now running away from God but so are some of the leaders of our denominations. She hits the nail on the head that which plagues our nation - the ability to do whatever we want without having to compromise. No responsibilities - just being able to do what we want with no consequences.

It is a very dangerous age we live in. As we go about our daily lives, we ignore the creeping cancer that is eating our nation's soul. It is eating into our major denominations. Preachers are routinely embracing gay rights, abortion and saying you cannot believe the Bible literally.

God warns us that the days are dangerous. We have to be on alert because our enemy prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour. I'm afraid America is the next meal.

Where do we go with this? Where is the hope? The hope is in Christ. The final battle is already won. We know how this story ends - it ends in Christ's return as a mighty warrior who will destroy the foul one and send him to his death. We may be living in the worst of days. We'll see terrible things continue to happen. Let us be light in this very dark world. There is a battle being waged. We are troops serving a mighty General.

Soar!

God's plans
John Eldredge was in town this weekend and gave a great talk on God's Fathering. So often when hard times hit us, we think "God, why have you abandoned me?" when in reality, it is God fathering us. We cannot get stronger and learn how to cope unless we are tested by some fire along the way. So when hard times hit, ask God, "Lord, what are your plans for me in this? What is it that you want me to learn?" It will radically change the way you cope with the hard times when you take your focus off of "me" and onto what our father is trying to teach us. Good stuff.

That brings me to this that a friend had put on his blog that is perfect for this...

Dreams I dream for you

You taste the tears
You're lost in sorrow
You see your yesterdays
I see tomorrow

You see the darkness
I see the spark
You know the failures
But I know your heart

The dreams I dream for you
Are deeper than the ones you're clinging to
More precious than the finest things you knew
And truer than the treasures you pursue

You see your shame
But I see your glory
You've read one page
I know the whole story

I hold a vision
Of what you'll become
As you grow into the truth
As you learn to walk in love

Let the old dreams die
Like stars that fade from view
Then take the cup I offer
And drink deeply of
The dreams I have for you

By Avalon

God dreams great dreams for us. He has a wondeful path laid out. We just need to let go of ours so we can...

Soar!

The importance of failure
I read an interesting commentary in an investment magazine that is incredibly applicable to faith, our life, raising kids and our nation.

"So I just it's incredibly important to note that when you don't allow failure, you get more failure. When you take away the price of personal risk in your personal decisions, you get much more risk taking. So we are harvesting what we've sown."

I have had a series of conversations with folks about this issue with kids. From a school standpoint - allowing reckless behavior on school grounds - drinking on campus, cheating on tests, etc. If the punishment is a slap on the wrist, kids will be emboldened to push the limits even farther. Children push limits for a reason. They want to know there are some. They might protest but the protecting limits provides them with a subtle level of comfort they deep down crave. They instinctively are scared of the wide-open range - they know they cannot handle life with no rules, no boundaries and their instincts are right. They'll never thank us but you can almost see it in their eyes once they understand the rules.

I didn't drink in high school because my Dad made it perfectly clear - if you drink and I catch you, I will sell your car and you'll not drive again. I had saved my money to buy a portion of my car so this was a real threat. He also made it clear to not fool myself into thinking he didn't mean it. I knew he meant it. I knew there were boundaries and to this day, I am so grateful for his loving boundaries. He made me fully understand that there was a price to my decisions and understanding that, I didn't take the risks. Without the risk of loss, I would have tested the limits.

Oftentimes schools will fall back on honor codes as preventive measures to stop this kind of behavior. While I understand why we have honor codes -- that doesn't mean the teachers/administrators/parents shouldn't watch kids like hawks. We have speed limits in America and we are supposed to follow the honor code and not speed but we also have a police force to make sure we don't...to protect us from our own nature.

The Bible is full of God's loving boundaries on man. God knows. He knows our nature and he knows the enemy. He knows we will push the boundaries to see what we can get away with and in so doing, we ignore the possible cost.

Proverbs 7. If you haven't read this passage - I suggest you do. It is a powerful passage.

A wise man looks out his window down on the street below. He sees a younger man walking down the street and farther down the street, he sees a woman waiting on him. The lamb headed for the slaughter. The young man is walking down the street and sees the seductive woman looking at him, waiting for him. He thinks, 'Man, she digs me'. In his head he is hearing the song "Born to be wild". In the wise man's head watching all this transpire, he is hearing the soundtrack to "Jaws" playing.

The wise man knows what is about to happen. The young man, blind to his lust and ego, just sees the bounty -- he doesn't see the cost or the consequences of what is about to transpire. The woman seduces him and says "my husband is away for a long journey and I have prepared my bed. We can make love all night long and enjoy ourselves." All of this plays to the young man's sense of self - this is all about "me", she wants "me", "I'm" the only one, she'll cheat on her husband just to be with "me".

This young man was headed down the wrong path. Death and destruction lay in wait for him along this path. The wise man, having seen this over and over shouts "go the other way, avoid her at all cost!" The lamb is led to the slaughter. Read the passage.

God allows us to have failures for a reason - they show us our weakness, we learn valuable lessons and we see our utter dependence on Him. With no "cost" to our sin, we would be emboldened to reach for even more and in so doing, pull ourselves even farther from God. Thankfully, God knows us intimately. He knows the sin we are prone to fall into and if we seek His guidance and direction, He will steer us on a path away from the lusts of our heart.

This will make no sense until you have tried it...there is freedom - great magnificent freedom - in obedience to God. Thankfully He has rescued the slaves and set us free.

Soar!

Ignore that noise over there in the tall brush...
One of Satan's most devious tricks is to convince us he isn't lurking around. He isn't here. He isn't a threat...go on, live your life the way "you" want...there are no consequences, there are no traps.

We see this in nature. The ONLY reason a lion captures a gazelle is stealth. If the lion stayed out in the open, he'd never eat. The reason he eats is that he hides. He stays in the tall grass waiting...just waiting for one gazelle to get lazy, one gazelle to ignore his instincts, one gazelle to get just a little too close to the tall grass.

The Message has a great summary of Ephesians 5:14-16 - "So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are dangerous times!"

In 1 Peter, Satan is compared to a lion - "Be on guard, you enemy - Satan - prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour."

We are at war. And yet, so many of us go about our daily lives ignoring the enemy. We send our kids off to school and simply ignore the warfare they face. There was a story last week about kids in England being faced with "education" on alternative lifestyles. They had a gay/lesbian week and read stories and watched videos on alternative lifestyles. These were young kids. Some parents were rightly concerned and took their kids out of school. The school system penalized the kids and even said they would seek to prosecute parents for taking their kids out of school. One report even said the parents could face jail time. Jail time for guarding their kids from material the parents found offensive!

We are at war. There is an enemy and he is coming after our kids very hard, very fast. It is a full-out assault and we are seemingly numb to it.

I talk to parents a lot about kids and the problems the kids face and it just amazes me how easily we dismiss behavior with, "Well, we all did that kind of stuff back when we were kids..." Don't get me wrong, I say/think that too. But then I also think, "What a minute, just because I screwed up when I was young...is that the life I want for my kids? Does it make it right?" I fear we just too easily rationalize it without the context of an enemy and warfare.

We send our kids off to hell every day in schools. That is dramatic but think about it - they go into hostile environments - teachers with agendas, curriculum that pushes themes far removed from God's word, sex, drugs, drinking, peer pressure, back-biting "friends", cliques, pressures to conform. Our kids face an all-out assault every single day. Even the little ones.

John Eldredge said in Waking the Dead - "Christianity isn't a religion about going to Sunday school, potluck suppers, being nice, holding car washes, sending our second-hand clothes off to Mexico. This is a world at war. Something large and immensely dangerous is unfolding all around us, we are caught up in it and we have been given a key role to play."

I read this today on a blog. I don't know this person or where they are spiritually but I have some hunches. It appears they are talking about walking away from a relationship and perhaps even a commitment. I share this not to beat on this person but to use it as an example of how far off the path we have traveled.

"Sometimes we need to part from this to have a fresh start. Sometimes we need to separate from the past so we can grow, transform and bloom into our highest expression of self in this lifetime. Sometimes we need to re-create an entire new life. Sometimes we have to say goodbye when things no longer fulfill a need, or make us unhappy. Life is short, why should we waste it on anything but happiness?"

Is that what life is about...my transformation into the highest expression of "self"? I was made in "self's" image not God's? Life for many of us has become simply the pursuit of happiness. "God loves me because I am happy." This person is saying sometimes it is necessary to just walk away from relationships/commitments if they no longer fulfill us or make us happy. They hauntingly end it with "Why should we waste life on anything but happiness?"

The pursuit of happiness would be just fine if there was no enemy. In Eden, happiness was freely abounding. But in this life, there is an enemy and we are at war. A pursuit of finding/doing whatever makes us happy will lead us into a trap. If the gazelle just pursued what made it happy, it would eat whatever grass looked appealing. It would stray from the pack. It wouldn't fear the tall grass - that grass would look tasty. And the gazelle would quickly become someone else's lunch.

We cannot ignore the presence of the enemy and just simply pursue the happy life. It is incredibly naive and very dangerous. To do so gives Satan open field to take us out.

God doesn't want us leading lives of misery - I'm not saying that. He came and liberated us so that we might have abundant life. God gets the last word. We know how the battle will end. God will be victorious. He defeated death at Calvary. "It IS finished"...the battle is won. My pleading is that we pay attention to the war going on around us. Pray for your children. Wrap them in prayer as they go off to school. Pay attention to what they are doing. Watch the cell phones, texting and email. Kids can so easily fall prey to the predator -- we need to be on guard.

Thankfully and gracefully however the war HAS been won!

Soar!

Who can explain?
My debates with old friends continue around the theme of "can you really believe the Bible?" I have not shied away - I have pressed boldly into the void.

But something pretty simple struck me today - "who can explain"...

Who can explain exactly how "life" works?

Who can explain the beauty of spring?

Who can explain the majesty of the mountains?

Who can explain the warmth of the spring sun and just how good that makes you feel?

Who can explain the perfect v-formation of a flock of geese?

Who can explain the miracle of a young child's giggle?

Who can explain why the earth is in exactly the right place, so the temperature is exactly right to sustain life?

Who can explain why our planet stays in its perfect rotation?

Who can explain why there is just enough of a balance of warmth/cold, spring/fall, sun/darkness, light/rain, wind/humidity, deserts/ice and how all that stays in place?

Who can explain the seasons - the youth of spring, the maturity of summer, the harvest of fall and death of winter and how that exactly mimmics human life?

Who can explain why love feels so good and can hurt so bad?

Who can explain why we even have emotions? I mean if we "evolved", why do we have emotions? Surely, emotions would have been "evolved" out by now. What scientific good do they serve?

Who can explain why humans have the emotional need for a mate, for the completeness of sex (beyond the act itself), for family? Animals simply reproduce - they aren't driven by the need for relationship, completeness that comes from family. Why does man have these desires?

Who can explain why the sunsets are so pretty?

Who can explain why spring is so magical - lush green lawns, daylillies, azaleas, etc?

Who can explain and why does man obsess with trying?

Ronald Reagan said of his atheist son, "There was one thing he had long yearned to do for his atheist son. He wanted to serve his son the perfect gourmet dinner, to have him enjoy the meal, and then to ask him if he believed there was a cook."

Why do we so enjoy this world and all its blessings - our intelligence, our looks, our family, the miracle of children and all that is listed above...and insist on giving the credit to something other than the Creator?

There is a cook and He has prepared a glorious meal for all who will accept.

Soar!